Things That Don't Work

Max has very much taken to the temporary apartment in the 16th arrondissement, and most especially to the very thick and luxurious comforter, where he can be found lounging, eyes half closed and claws extended in ecstasy. It’s when I come back from work and find Max in the apartment that I realize I really live in Paris now.

The temporary apartment is huge, and only four metro stops away from work. I hope the place I find is just as convenient.

After being here for four days, I decided to make a brief inventory of the things in the apartment I am incapable of getting to work:

• The alarm clock (I swear, not an excuse to be late to work, simply that for some inexplicable reason, I can set the time, and the time I want the alarm to go off, but it will ring at a completely different hour)
  
  
• The washing machine (yes, I loaded it, put in the soap, turned the dial – one of which is stuck) and nothing happened. I got shocked, though, so I can report that the electrical current is reaching the machine just fine.
  
  
• The telephone. Yes, the stupid telephone. At first it didn’t even ring. It appears the “cordless” phone from the 70’s needed to be plugged in for the other one to ring. What the hell ever. So great, now they ring, but I can’t pick up the call. So one thing at a time, I guess.
  
  
• The stereo. It looks like all the others I’ve seen, if a bit dated. I put in a CD, hit CD, then play. Nada.
  
  
• The clothes hanger upper thingie. As you may or may not know, in France they do not seem to use dryers for their clothes, but even in the best of families, hang them up on wire racks to air dry on the balcony, in the bathroom, in the garden, or wherever you can fit it. It unfolds in more layers than one would think possible. There are apparently two larger parts that hold the whole thing up, and smaller racks that come out from there. I tried and tried, unfolded and flipped over, and most of it came off. The larger parts that were still standing I hung some things on, and the smaller racks that came off I put over the bathtub and hung things on it from there.

I swear I am not as stupid as all this makes me sound.

Oh, and I can’t find the mailbox either.