Signs

I've come to realize that I have a thing for signs and advertisements. I love the Marilyn Monroe 'Lustre Cream' shampoo ad I have hanging in my bathroom, and one of most prized pieces of art is an antique Erte poster advertising a show at the Folies Bergeres.

So it should come as no surprise that while in Turkey over the summer, I was delighted to find it rich with signs that beguiled, puzzled and outright made me double over laughing.

Tourists are routinely warned about what ruses to avoid in Turkey, such as agreeing to follow someone in the Grand Bazaar market who insists he has better merchandise to show you at his cousin Mehmet's stand, which is just over here down this alley.... Another very common way to be had is to follow the recommondations of that very nice man at the train /bus station or airport who recommended you go to such and such hotel or restaurant, and - oops! The price is way more expensive for your fanny-pack wearing tourist self...

So, this little pension in Selcuk is to be commended for trying to assuage any lingering doubt:

Still, what about the trainsstation?

After you have spent the day visiting the incredible ruins at Ephesus, sweating and trying to appear intelligent by struggling to remember your Greek and Roman history, you just might want an altogether different kind of experience at the end of your tour. But you may be apprehensive about how much it's going to run you...

Only fifty cents for the magic? What's in that thing, anyway? See how the kid's hands are all bunched up in excitement? That must be one magical toilet!

Maybe you want to buy the missus a nice gift while in Turkey? How about a memento that is not only from an exotic locale, but completely oxymoronic?

A Rollex? A Piyaget? An authentic sham! Thanks, honey!

Perhaps you are hungry after walking around, and are hankering for some kind of Turkish meal? Look no further.

Okay! Well that says it! I'll have one of those!

Feel like some water sports?

Let's not Dive........ instead......

Big Mable with us! Patriot with us! Banana with us! Let's exciting! In fun with us!

After all that physical exertion, you must be hungry again. You could always grab a bite at Ali and Sahil's.

Dude makes your mouth water, eh? Is Diana Steak some kind of Turkish meal?

At the end of your trip, suppose you have some Turkish lira leftover that you'd rather spend than exchange. Let's say you had anywhere from 4 to 500 Turkish lira. What could that buy you?

Hmmm..... figs or a flatscreen TV? Flatscreen TV or some figs? Decisions! Decisions!