These are actual items seen on actual menus in actual Parisian restaurants. And actual sources of profound annoyance.
Mousse aux fraises Tagada - "Fraises Tagada" are a horrifying marshmellow like candy thing every French person in my generation grew up snacking on. They are vile. This caters to a recent trend in getting all nostalgic and misty eyed about your idyllic childhood.
Candy apple mousse - see above
Cotton candy mousse - see above, sweet jesus christ on a cracker
Ben & Jerry's oatmeal cookie ice cream - IN FRANCE!!! The French generally hate cinnamon and don't ever make sweets with oatmeal, good god. Just ask my mother how long and how loudly I went on about this in the restaurant where we saw this on the menu.
Oreo cookie cheesecake - if I were nostalgic for an item found in every chain restaurant in America from 1980 - 1998, I might order this. If I were not IN PARIS.
Smarties flavored ice cream - No. Comment.
Sheesh. Call me a snot, but I didn't think the originals were all that good by themselves, so I'm less than inclined to order their trendy, oh-so-originale spinoffs.
Not so long as I can get a simple plum tart or a mousse au chocolat that will make me swoon. Please, Paris, quit with the offerings for toddlers' palates. Be the grown lady you are.